Another Brick in the Wall

How will the United States keep the Mexicans out? A Wall. ‘Let’s build a giant wall all along the border and kick the bad ones out’. What a terrible, egotistical thought. To be so stingy, so prideful to result to blocking out an entire people. To think, ‘What we have is ours and should not be shared’. But what about those who come here for a better life? To escape a life of poverty, corruption, drugs, murder, rape, and abuse that is more common than not. ‘Fuck them’ is really all Trump is saying.

Once upon a time, I was so badly hurt by my own doings, that I built my own wall. A wall made out of what I thought were the strongest of bricks. It was a wall of survival, a tool used for the refusal of undocumented emotions. It was a beautiful wall, made by two hands who gained their strength through the power of self-love. Months had gone by and the wall was doing what it was meant to do. It stopped negative energy from sneaking in through crevices I had overlooked, and turned away the rest who were on a mission to sneak in. One day in June of 2016, a visitor came to the wall with a request for permanent residency. A request no one made anymore for no one was deemed worthy. This likely candidate asked for the wall to be taken down, for my insides to be freed from the past, and for my heart to welcome in a new possibility. But how could I do that? The candidate was still a stranger to me, with papers half empty, an unsteady past, yet a future filled with promise and potential. After months of frequent visits to my brick wall, bringing gifts of gratitude and admiration, I decided I wanted to look at my possibility in the eyes. So I took one brick down and there they were. A set of brown eyes, awaiting my stamp of approval to cross over. These eyes gave soft whispers of raw emotion, of nobility, and of trust. I wanted to order my suddenly enticed heart to dismantle the entire wall as soon as possible. But something in the pit of my stomach made me hesitant. A creature that leads with her heart and not her mind, I ignored that feeling and destroyed the wall. A brick was taken down almost every day from that moment on until he was free to enter. Already in too deep, I realized that he wasn’t a possibility for improvement on my side of the wall. In actuality, he was a lost intruder, thirsty for light in his life. His papers half-assed wasn’t the only issue now. His unsteady past snuck up to his present, making it my present as well. Papers were out of order, wrong things were said, and unguarded feelings were exposed to the most torturous of enemies. Everything being protected behind my wall was blindsided, and viciously attacked. Some things were burned alive, and others were slowly dismantled, piece by piece. Until one day, everything I was protecting was either completely erased, lost, or stolen. The intruder stripped my insides of all the goods, leaving nothing but a giant hole in the wall allowing heavy streams of the saltiest of waters to drown the remains of love. A war no one saw coming scarred my land and not his. Only to learn that he became a possibility behind someone else’s wall during his stay behind mine.

And so it begins. The wall will be rebuilt with whatever scraps are left, and I will protect and nurture it without hesitation. No one is allowed in, and my kindness will barely be allowed out. Like Trump, the only purpose of this wall is to protect myself and no one else. It is at the expense of everyone else, for my feelings are the only ones that matter right now. Unlike Trump, I will attempt to be fair towards future candidates who may or may not be an asset to my life.

All content is a L.A. CORONA original unless otherwise posted.

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