They ask if I’m ‘okay’
As if ‘okay’ was ever anything more
than a cover-up
Why the ‘sad girl’ face?
I thought I was hiding it so well…
A reflection who couldn’t meet her own eyes.
That was me.
I said I didn’t know;
that I hadn’t realized my face matched my insides.
For the sake of others I sunk more
into myself and away from humanity
Found the will to apologize
for something
I wasn’t trying to get rid of.
Heavy clouds became shadows
to a feeling I welcomed.
Looking up had me facing
the façade.
So I stayed down.
Let the clouds shield me from myself.
It sat with me – and I with it.
It was my escort in public reign
A passive ally in incomplete isolation
The way out was greater than this
version of me
Where it isn’t confused
for negativity –
Where it isn’t allowed
to stay –
Where it becomes
a bridge, a path, a road less taken.
El Sereno, CA
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