Selfish: lacking consideration for others. Or simply put, egocentric, self-absorbed, self-centered, and so on. This word has been given a negative connotation my entire life. To suddenly see it in a new light has opened a shiny, bright door to a new way of living. Almost one week ago I made the sporadic decision to leave my home in Los Angeles, and stay with my aunt in Mexico. Although this trip is coming to an end in a matter of hours, I found it more than necessary. During my stay, I have been blessed with the gift of time; time to eat, time to drink (nothing new), time to sleep, time to think, time to dream, but most importantly, 100% of devoted time to my own mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. I felt like the stress I was suddenly burdened with at home was eating me alive. Some may say I was running away, others may say I freaked out. But after this week, I can confidently say that what I did was for myself and I should never be ashamed of taking care of myself first.
Things that stuck like underwear on a hot day:
• The importance of a solid support system – whether it be family or friends. With that, you can get through anything.
• A belief in something. Anything. Whether it be in a religion or an idol. That way, if & when you fall, you have something to grab on to and aren’t left to drown.
• Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I feel as if the feeling of empathy is scarce these days. Yet is so important to have in order to progress as a society that supports instead of judges.
• Things happen so fast. Things change even faster. I am here today, preparing this post, but can die on my plane ride home. One can go to sleep one night, and for one reason or another, not live to see the morning light. Things could be going surprisingly well with your significant other one day, and you could be blindsided by something completely unexpected the next.
• Love/like yourself first. Or you’ll never be happy with anything you do or anyone you’re with.
The daunting task of returning home is quickly approaching. And although I am taking my new found knowledge and approach to the word selfish with me, I am terrified. This new burden I speak of has tainted my Los Angeles. Downtown LA and Hollywood being my typical playgrounds, I want nothing more than to burn them to the ground and start from something fresh and pure. I see them now as these poisoned crevices that are just waiting to swallow people whole. Think of dark shadows and floundering black spirits on stand-by to prey on frail minds. Just thinking about going back is exhausting. Perhaps it’s the same mentality when people think of the city of Culiacan. With the violence from the drug cartels taking the lives of the innocent while engraving fear in the aroma of the city, it is only certain people who carry the poison and not the actual land. So I suppose I must reach for what I believe in, appreciate and acknowledge those who support me, and continue to be a little egocentric, in the best possible way. I leave you all with a quote sent to me by a beautiful human:
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
- Culiacan, Sinaloa
All content is a L.A. CORONA original unless otherwise posted.